If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
