you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you had me at cake vodka
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize