I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
