We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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