he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
