I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
