You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
