I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
if only i could text you this smell
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
