Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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