You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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