We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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