I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
