How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
