I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
