Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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