Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
