Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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