Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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