I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
