Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Randomize
