You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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