Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize