Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
