Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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