Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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