thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
