Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
