Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
