At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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