1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
