That's when you crack a 10am beer
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize