Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
