i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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