So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
