I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
