Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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