Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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