Betty ford says i'm here all night
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
