See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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