Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
