AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
