I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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