OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
