I want to make a zoo with you.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
