shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
