i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
