she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
