if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
