I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
