remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize