I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we're making bets on your personal life
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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