Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
