halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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