Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
