dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
