Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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