Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize