Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
