1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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